God Isn't Punishing You By Saying No.

She sat across from me with her hand gently around that red cup. In the seat where her back would be against the wall. She liked to be able to see what was going on.

She answered questions about ministry, her time with The Lord, friendships, and more about her current season of life with her head held high and a smile on her face. With the last question she answered though, something changed. Her shoulders dropped, her tone changed, and without looking back up she said "no, I'm not married."

The quick change was such a shock. From the things she had been saying, it was very evident The Lord has blessed her. This girl had answered everything so joyfully, but that one question. Her answer to that one question was so heavy with shame.

She had so many blessings, but had she missed that because the enemy had pulled one of the oldest tricks in the book?

Let me explain. Go back with me to the beginning. Not the beginning of this story, but the beginning of The Story. Back to the Garden of Eden.

(There is a lot of scripture here so I won't insert it all, but I encourage you when you have a moment to go read through Genesis 2.)

Let me talk to you about Eve, the very first woman in the Bible, and the very first for the enemy to pull this trick on.

Eve had a man (companionship).
Eve had 4 rivers flowing through the garden of Eden (water)
Eve had trees, plants, and animals within quick reach (food)
Eve had The Lord's blessing, protection, and perfection surrounding her.

She had it all, but one thing. And here is where the enemy pulls a fast one on her. He places a big ole spot light on the one thing she doesn't have. Using that one thing to distract her and make her think The Lord is holding out on her. Making her think He does not know, or want what is best for her.

There is a reason she doesn't have that one thing in her possession, but she is so caught up in the enemy's trick that she can't see that.

Sound familiar? See how these two stories are oh so similar?

From the very beginning this has been a trick of the enemy's. Eve missed all The Lord had blessed her with because she was so focused on that one thing she did not have. She was so distracted by it that she couldn't even trust The Lord and know that maybe He had a reason for keeping that one thing away from her.

The same goes with the girl with her head hung in shame over the fact she doesn't have a husband.

Can I be completely honest with you about something?

That girl in the story, remember her? Yeah, that used to be me. Head hung in shame as soon as somebody asked if I was married. Every single time. My reaction was always the same. Like I was so insignificant because I was unmarried. Feeling so shameful because I didn't have a husband yet.

Shame wrapped in thoughts that were actually lies. Things like "they will wonder what's wrong with me."

I remember one day that my eyes were opened. Almost like The Lord just whispered "you are missing all the other blessings, because you are so focused on what you do not have. Be thankful, and keep your eyes focused on me and what you do have." and with that He placed the story of Eve on my mind.

After reading and studying what Eve had in the Garden of Eden and how she had fallen prey to the same exact trap I did, I began to understand.

God calls us to be content, not complacent.

God call us to be faithful, focused, and fruitful with what He has given us. Not distracted, distraught, and disobedient because there are things He has not given us.


God isn't punishing you by saying no.
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Don't be so distracted by the things that you don't have, that you miss the sweet blessings of Your Heavenly Father.


Just as Eve couldn't see that The Lord had a plan and a purpose, I couldn't see that He had and has a plan for me too.

Years later I can look back and know that His plan was and is so much better than mine. Now married, with an 8 month old baby girl, I can see how the Lord used my time of singleness to develop me as a person and as a disciple, and unltimately led me straight to the best of the best.


We all have wants which sometimes we feel like are our needs. Yours is probably on the tip of your tongue right now.

A baby. A spouse. A job opportunity. A place to call home.

I challenge you to open your fists and hand it over to The Lord.

I challenge you to trust He has a reason for it not being in your life in this season.

I challenge you to choose to move the spotlight off the thing you don't have, and focus more on all that you do have.