In a social media saturated society, combined with living in a warm beachy area AND it being the summer season, I have seen way more skin than I’ve ever cared to see.
I’m all for body positivity and being confident in who you are and how you were made. Focusing on who you are and not comparing. But hear me when I say this, it’s also very easy to see the difference between confidence, and attention seeking. And we need to talk about it. It’s an awkward conversation to have, no matter what age the friend is you’re trying to express this to. I’ve heard too many horrible things said when this topic gets brought up. Almost as if people are so unsure how to explain that it’s not exactly “right” they either tiptoe around to not offend, or aggressively slap people with the “your body is a temple” scripture. So here’s how I’ll say it. Your body is worth more than social media likes. YOU are worth more than social media likes. What you catch people with, you have to keep them with. If you get attention just for your body, it’s uncommon that they’ll ever see your heart. You are worth more than your social media presence. You are called. You are worthy. You are loved. You are to be known by your true name, not your Instagram name. I say this out of truth and love. From a place of experience. I’ve been on both sides. It may not be the easiest thing to hear, but The Gospel was never meant to be the jelly on the toast, but rather the toaster itself. Seeing you how you are, transforming you to what you’re called to be. Think before you post. Know that you have value and you are special. Know that you are worthy and you are beautiful. You are beautiful from the inside out, not the outside in.
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I can speak for both of us when I say we don’t want our children to think living a life sold out to the Calling of The Messiah is easy, comfortable, or even sometimes understandable. When you are expectant that He is calling you to something more you obey. Obedience not often understood by a nonbeliever or one young in the faith journey. Sometimes obedience we don’t even understand, we just want to obey. We don’t proclaim to know everything but we do know that when you are obedient and give Him fertile soil to work, He can and will do more than you could ever fathom.
[He does great and unsearchable things, wonders without number - Job 9:10] Success, to us, does not look like following our flesh but following the Father. The flesh craves easy, comfort, family connections, materials But the Spirit craves The Father, and obedience, and remembering it’s His approval not mans. Years ago when I moved to Franklin I wrote a blog post about how I put God in a box, and He then put me in Franklin. By "putting God in a box" I mean I forgot how big, powerful, and sovereign He really is. I told Him what He had prepared me for instead of really having an open mind to what He was preparing me for. I told Him what doors He should open. I had limited my prayers to what I had wanted. I limited what God could do to what I wanted. I put God in a box. I wrote then: “He has things in store for me that are far greater than anything I could ever fathom.” And Oh did He. Franklin made me a wife and a mom. And given me so many amazing friendships and hearts to love like family. Friends that make me want to be a better wife, a better mom, and a better person. I believe Winnie The Pooh said it best when he said, “I get to where I’m going, by walking away from where I’ve been.” You can’t be in two places at once, or I would find a way. I’m a believer in half obedience being full disobedience, and I don’t want to be Jonah sloshing around in the belly of a whale. That being said, here are all the details of our next adventure in obedience: Where are we headed: Brunswick, Ga to serve at First Baptist Church Brunswick. Britton will be the Contemporary Worship & Young Adults Pastor When do we move: June 25th Where will we be living: Currently we have been offered a temporary rental that is within our budget in the town next to Brunswick. How far along are we in this pregnancy: 11 weeks as of Saturday, June 2nd. When is the baby due: December 22, 2018 What impact does this have for our foster care journey: due to some strange (God ordained, as we see now) circumstances, we did not get very far in the process here in NC. When we get more permanently settled in Georgia, we will pick up where we left off and work to become licensed Foster Parents in Brunswick. Expecting another baby does not deter us from the calling to foster. Will we be closer to family: we are actually moving further away from family, which is never an easy choice to make. We do know people in the area and the Church has been extremely welcoming and loving to our family already. How can you help: We are always in need of prayer. We are also in need of help packing and cleaning to get ready to move and sell our home. How you can pray for us: Pray that our home in Franklin sells quickly, and we will walk away with some profit to be able to put towards a home in Brunswick. Pray that we do find more permanent housing, sooner rather than later. Pray for a healthy full term pregnancy and safe delivery. Pray against high blood pressure that created issues for us during our pregnancy with Hensley Jae. Pray for our family as we transition to a new area, new home, new church, and new environment. Pray that we will find the best medical care and perfect doctors for Hensley and myself. We have absolutely loved and had amazing health care providers here and we would love to be able to fill those shoes with new providers in Brunswick. Pray for the ministries Britton will be leading. We are praying for leaders and fertile soil. Pray that we would remember these are The Lord’s ministries and His people, and that we would be faithful with what He has entrusted us with. We also don't believe in goodbyes, so just tell us you'll see us soon. We'll see you soon, The Johnstons I want to let you in on a little secret. Actually, all my discipleship secrets. We have a passion for discipleship. You may not know that about us, and if you do, what you may not know is that we want a big bed and breakfast style home too. We would fill it full young adult people who wanted to learn and glean more. From myself and my husband and Jesus. Life skills. Discipleship. Mentoring. There would be opportunities for intentional and unintentional discipleship. Because if you’re doing life together, both are bound to happen. I believe you have to provide opportunities for both, because relationship comes before discipleship. That is a dream we want to make a reality someday. To disciple people who want to be disciples, and to help people reach their fullest potential in Christ. To help people become more self aware, while becoming more God aware, allowing them to become more people aware. Becoming more “aware” in these areas allows for you to become less independent and more dependent on God. Does that sound like something you need? We have an open door policy but I can’t bring you into my home just yet. We’ve only got a few rooms, and they’re all full. But if I could sit down and have coffee with you, here is what I would share: Books and curriculum are great, but they can’t replace your Bible. To me discipleship isn’t a book study, but books can definitely disciple people. Here are two of my absolute favorites that I highly recommend to people wanting growth. Becoming More Than A Good Bible Study Girl This is definitely one of my absolute favorite books. This is actually the only thing I had when I got serious about growing in my relationship with Jesus and who I was as a disciple. I did not have someone to come along side me, but I had this. And if you happen to be a mom too, this is another book I love! Brave Mom Brave Kids This book is amazing! It helps that I also know the author personally, but that isn't why I push this book. This book will help growth not just as a mom, or as a Christian but as a mom AND a Christian together. Those books are gender specific, but the rest of what I’m about to say isn’t. Discipleship is not making converts. I would explain it like this, discipleship is helping people in their sanctification process & teaching them how to disciple others. It's a cycle to be repeated. "A disciple knows who Christ is and makes a decision to follow Him. A disciple is being changed by Christ. A disciple is committed to the mission of Christ." This description of a disciple comes from my favorite resource for teaching about discipleship: Real-Life Discipleship Training Manual I also believe it is important to become self aware and here are all the tools I use for that: Personal Strengths Inventory : www.truity.com/view/tests/strengths-disc Love Languages : www.5lovelanguages.com/ Spiritual Gifts & Personality Assessment : placeministries.wazala.com/products/place-assessment-tool/ All that being said, I don’t want to be a teacher, I want to be a developer when it comes to discipleship. I don’t want people to be reliant on me, but reliant on Jesus.
Just because I can't have you move on into my dream of a discipleship home doesn't mean you can't use these resources on your own, or with a friend, to grow. Even if you aren't interested in the resources I have shared, here are some important questions I ask my people, that you can ask yourself:
I ask them often because there is always something new to learn, because you never fully arrive. These questions require you to think a little harder and think a little deeper. Think a little past the words on the pages of that book, or verses in that passage you are studying and think about what God is teaching you. Now that we have shared our tools with you, we pray it promotes growth for you. Now that we have also shared our secrets of passions and dreams, you can be in prayer for our family as we pursue what God is asking of us. (Or buy us a bed and breakfast style home so we can make our dreams a reality, either one ;) ) I’ve been a Pastors wife for two years. What some of you may not know is that I was in a ministerial role myself for another two prior to becoming a Pastor's wife. And served in Church leadership roles for years before that. What you do probably know however, is that often times when you hear the word "Church" you hear the word "hurt." I’ve been hurt by people. My husband has been hurt by people. People have been hurt by us. None of which, I can promise you, was on purpose. I understand your frustrations with the church and maybe even your Pastor, but there is something I have to say; You have to remember, your Pastor is a person too. He’s a human. She’s a human. We’re all human. With being a human, a sinner saved by and redeemed in Christ, means that we will make mistakes, we will fail, and we will be far from perfect. Now, that doesn’t give anybody a free pass to be and to do as they please, but it gives a pass for grace. We are quick to offer grace to friends, to coworkers, to the unsaved neighbor, but not our Pastors. Not our church leadership. Why? They have been given a gifting, personality, skill set, and calling that has led them to the role that they are currently in, but that doesn’t exempt them from making mistakes, asking for forgiveness, or needing grace. There are some things that happen within the church setting and environment and "in the name of Jesus" that are absolutely unacceptable, but that’s not what I’m talking about here. Speaking from my ministerial experience, Pastors and Church staff have a passion to serve, but also have a pressure to appear and preform as something they aren’t. A pressure brought on by expectations. Expectations which, people may not even know that they have, but do. And those expectations have a tendency to hold Pastors and church staff to an unreal level to be something they aren’t. We think they should be, do, behave, pray, and lead certain ways. All while meeting their job descriptions too. (Yes, they have job descriptions too.) Jimmy Dodd wrote a book all about this called: Pastors Are People Too: What They Won't Tell You but You Need to Know and this is what he said about expectations: "They’re expected to know every member by name, preach a “home run sermon” every Sunday, condemn sin without hurting anyone’s feelings, and be available to serve others 24/7 while not neglecting their own family. The intensity of these expectations and lack of appreciation can and does bring the majority of pastors to a place of despair and ultimately departure from pastoral ministry." So with that said, I need your help, they need your help. We need to do them a favor: 1) Pray for your church staff and leadership more. 2) If you have been hurt in some way or made unhappy, have a [calm and thought out] conversation with your Pastor so they can know what happened and help you both understand the situation a little more, because chances are they may not even be aware something hurt you. 3) Please offer them a little more grace, they truly need it. 4) Before you react, please remember that your church, church staff, and Pastor are people and they are all humans. Sinners saved by and redeemed in Christ, so somebody, somewhere, someday will make a mistake or two. 5) Remember that spiritual warfare is real. We may forget that it is there, but it is. We have one common enemy in Satan, and he would love nothing more to see the Church be torn apart by expectations, unjustified harbored hurt and pain, and know he can and will use anybody in his path to make it happen. 1 Peter 5:8-9 says: Be serious! Be alert! Your adversary the Devil is prowling around like a roaring lion, looking for anyone he can devour. Resist him and be firm in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are being experienced by your fellow believers throughout the world. and lastly, 6) Remember, you are loved, you are prayed for, and you are appreciated. I see you. I know you. We are feeling the same. I get it. You didn’t get that opportunity. Your husband didn’t get that promotion. Your prayer hasn’t been answered. Your pregnancy test was negative. Your business has slowed down. You’re still waiting. But She did. Her husband did. Her’s was. Her’s was positive. She’s killing the direct sales and business life. They aren’t. It hurts, I know. You want to be happy for them, but you can’t. I get it. In the hurt I catch myself saying ugly things. Condemning them for their achievements. Comparing them to you, and you to them. They’re lucky Somebody made a mistake They think they are better than us They are better than us We deserve that, they don’t. Things that are not true. Things that aren’t speaking life to my soul, or theirs. I’m competing comparing and condemning. I’ve made the easy choice, instead of the right choice. Friend, those who succeed are not our enemies. What if we chose to remember that, instead of let the hurt take over? What if we chose to replace the culture of competition and condemnation with a culture of celebration? There is always something that can and should be celebrated. If we chose to celebrate more, I believe hearts would be healed. Waiting would become easier. Hope would stay intact. Because replacing a culture of competition with a culture of celebration isn’t for them, it’s for you. Our social media saturated society has tricked us to believe that it’s a competition. The news is always showing us two (or more) people that are against each other. Words are thrown around like they mean nothing, tearing people down as they fly. We live in a culture of competition and condemnation. If culture is the attitudes and behavior characteristic of a particular social group. Then it most certainly can be changed, and it starts with us. You aren’t in competition with her, or him, or them. Chances are you’re not in the same lane, much less even on the same track. When you think that you are, you’re only hurting yourself. If we can learn to celebrate friends, both in our real world and social media world, it will become easier to create a culture of celebration in all areas of our lives. And when we do, we will see change. With your spouse: If you are creating a culture of celebration within your marriage, you move from speaking (and focusing on) negatives to positives. Your spouse will feel seen, known, loved, and valued. In your parenting: If you are creating a culture of celebration in your parenting, you’ll stop comparing your kids and parenting style to the social media standards. Your eyes will be opened to see the specially especially special that is your kiddo. Work Team: Whether you’re the boss or just a coworker, creating a culture of celebration will have an impact on the environment. Walls will fall down, people will flourish, relationships & connections can become better than before. We have to stop just celebrating titles, numbers, and milestones and instead celebrate individuals. If we stopped having a check list of what we celebrated, and paid more attention to the individuals on our team, we then create a culture of people who work hard because they feel seen and appreciate. Your people thrive where they are and in who they are. You will thrive where you are and in who you are. If you want to be part of the change (because it starts with YOU) use this story template for your Instagram or SnapChat to start the celebration on your social media.
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